Learning about babies and iphones

The Day has come when my 7 year old knows more tricks on my iphone than I do and asked where babies come from.

First, Stephen and the phone.

It was bedtime, and I was wrestling a screaming, flailing Will into his crib.  Reid, seeing his brother’s tragic plight, fled the scene shrieking, “No no no no!”

“Reid,” I yelled over Will’s cries, “Don’t you want to go night-night with your blankie and pacifier?”  Despite this fabulous offer, Reid did not return.

Stephen popped his head in.  “Don’t worry, Mom, I’ll take care of Reid,” he said, and popped back out.

After I calmed Will and got him to bed, I went to find Reid.

“Where’s Reid?”  I asked Stephen.

“Oh, he’s watching the color song on your phone,” he said.

“What color song?  There’s a color song on my phone?”

“Yes, I looked it up in spotlight search and then it came up and I played it on youtube for Reid.  He’s happy now.”

“What’s spotlight search?”  I asked.

“It’s a thing you can use to search on your phone.  I’ll show you when he’s done watching his video.”

I turned the corner, and there was Reid, happily rocking out to a song about the rainbow.  Sheesh.  Who knew I had a rainbow video on my phone?

Secondly, and more frighteningly, Stephen asked where babies come from.

My best friend delivered her baby last week.  I told the boys the good news at breakfast.

“Oh, cool!”  Said Stephen.  “But where does the baby come out?”

“Well,” I said, deciding he’s old enough for the truth, “Babies come out of a woman’s vagina.”

His jaw dropped and he looked utterly horrified.  “WHAT!!!???  That’s weird!  Really really weird!”

“I guess it is,” I said.  “But that’s how it works.”

“So the baby just climbs out of where she pees??”

“Not quite….the baby is in a special organ women have called a uterus.  The uterus is a muscle, and it contracts and pushes the baby out.”

I drew him a diagram, skillfully portrayed in green crayon on the back of an envelope:

FullSizeRender

(in case you’re wondering and forgot anatomy, the green circle next to the uterus is the bladder..and hopefully you can figure out what’s on the backside 🙂 Take this moment to be thankful your mother is not a blogger with a career in women’s health)

“Does it HURT?” He asked.

“Yes, it does!”  I said.  “Especially when you have a baby named Stephen who has a giant head.”

Stephen laughed and returned to his cereal.

I guess we’re even now: he taught me about spotlight search and I taught him about a uterus.

(In case you’re wondering, we still have not had THE Talk on “where babies come from.”  I have explained that babies start when sperm seeds from a man and an egg from a woman get together.  He hasn’t asked how they “get together.”  I’m sure that will be a post for another day…to be continued….)

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About jennyvogan

Author of "Stephen's Mom," a blog documenting the funny, crazy life of raising four boys while keeping my day job as an ultrasound tech.
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One Response to Learning about babies and iphones

  1. raineality says:

    Haha, I love your drawing, Jenny! My mom got out the home medical book that people had back in the nineties to teach me. I basically had the same reaction as Stephen. “Ew. Can I go play now?” Lol

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