The thing about chairs…

Is that you should SIT in them.  If you do not, they are extremely dangerous.  I never knew how dangerous chairs were until I had sons.  Every day, I tell them, “SIT DOWN in your chair.  That means put your butt in the seat and leave it there!  Someone is going to get hurt!”  But despite this sage advice, EVERY DAY someone ignores it and gets hurt falling off a chair.  And miraculously, ALWAYS manages to bang his head no matter how he fell–on the back of the chair, the table, the floor, the cabinets–somehow he MUST hit his head.  As a tip, here are some things you should NOT do while on a chair:

1.  Jump

2.  Dance

3.  Punch your brother

4.  Run (yes, RUN) on the chair

5.  Lean back (hopefully you remember that one from your own childhood)

6.  Slide back super far from the table

7.  Stand

8.  Pretend to be a very vicious tiger

Here’s a riddle for you: How many times does a three year old boy have to fall of his chair before he learns to sit still?  I don’t know yet, but it’s a number greater than 10.

Forgive me for a moment of gender superiority, but I theorize that it would take a little girl ONE fall&head bang to learn to sit still.  Heck, she might even know how to sit still in the first place without needing to injure herself at all.

Last night at dinner, when all was peaceful (I use that term relatively), Stephen suddenly started SCREAMING, his mouth and eyes wide open.  Eric and I dropped our forks and rushed over to him, trying to figure out what on earth was going on to make him scream like that.  Stephen had managed to smash his own pinkie toe under his chair leg.  SMASH it.  While eating dinner.  His OWN toe.  I would have to try to do that–it’s not that easy!

After we put ice on it and he had calmed down, he observed, “I’m going to be a lot more careful when I sit in my chair!  I’m going to try to pay better attention.”

I hope so, Stephen!  I hope so!


About jennyvogan

Author of "Stephen's Mom," a blog documenting the funny, crazy life of raising four boys while keeping my day job as an ultrasound tech.
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