It all started with four little words: “Mommy, my tummy hurts!”
Warning, this post is not for the weak-stomached.
“Ok, honey, get in the car and rest and we’ll go home for nap time.”
“But my tummy hurts!” Adrian cried again.
“I know, honey. We’re going home for nap time! Get in the car and rest and close your eyes.”
We were on the highway ten minutes from home when I heard it again, shrieked:
“Mommy, my tummy hurts! It hurts, it hurts, it hu…..baaaaaargh…..aaaaaaargh…..aaaaaaaargh……” I looked in my rearview mirror to see Adrian…well…you know…the french fries he ate for lunch were flowing the wrong direction all over Adrian and the back of the van. Not what you like to see/smell while you’re driving down the highway. But what’s a Mommy to do? Keep on rollin’ and deal with it when you get home.
While Adrian cried in the back, I strategized. In 10 minutes, I will be arriving at an empty house with two babies, a puke covered toddler, and a puke-filled back seat. They did NOT prepare me for this in college. Ok, I’ll leave the babies in their carseats in the living room, take Adrian in for a bath, and forget the van. Eric can clean the van when he gets home. We’re gonna have to triage here: people before things, puky people before not puky people.
Thankfully, my dad was already planning on coming over, so I called him and told him we had a Code Vomit situation–come over immediately! I climbed in the back to get Adrian out…oh geez, no way to unbuckle him without getting messy….ew…ugh…ew…and took him into the garage. He was covered, COVERED in…what were previously french fries and Caprisun. I stripped him down naked (he even had it in his shoes!) and carried him upstairs to the bath. I put the babies in the living room in their carseats. Thankfully, my dad and Eric arrived fairly quickly to assist in baby care and van clean up.
Adrian was sick the rest of the day, but we hoped his bad tummy was just a combination of french fries and chlorine from our morning swim.
Until Wednesday afternoon when Will started puking….and that night when Reid started puking….and doing bad things out the other end…
And the school nurse called on Friday morning to report Stephen was in the office with a tummy ache…and he came home and started puking…
My wonderful father offered to spend the night and help me since the kids were sick and Eric was away teaching a special AP class in Grand Junction. I called Eric to see how his drive was…ok, but he was in the hotel puking…
AND THEN THE MOST TERRIBLE THING HAPPENED. You knew it would. You knew this was coming!
My dad and I started puking. We felt HORRIBLE, we felt AWFUL, we were experiencing TERRIBLE bodily functions, and we had to take care of 4 kids all the while. My dad has officially earned The Father of the Year Award. Stephen and Adrian (who were over the sickness by now) were banished to the basement and probably watched at least 7 hours of TV. My dad and I alternately ailed on the couch and changed diarrhea diapers. Yes, yes. Pity us. It was bad.
But we are all feeling better now, thank you very much, and are no longer a danger to society!